I want to talk about gossiping today.
Nope. Nobody is gossiping about me. Actually, people probably gossip about me all the time but you know what I mean. Not that I know of from my friends and family.
I know people love to gossip. It's just in human nature because we're given a mouth so we just like to talk talk talk. This isn't just about girls but even guys can be gossip queens! I sometimes gossip too =_=. There is just something addictive about gossiping. I don't know how you guys define gossip, but to me - I see gossiping as 'discussing about other people'. I don't mean in a positive way either. As girls, we love a good banter but just how innocent is 'innocent gossiping?'.
I really try to discipline myself these days to not gossip because I realised it's unhealthy and hmm..a bad habit. I've distanced myself from some friends because I realised their gossiping nature wasn't good for me. I started to see behind the gossip and I realised that their negativity was starting to spread on to me. When you spend enough person with a gossipy person, you will eventually gossip too. You've heard the saying, people who gossip to you will gossip about you right?
I
used to love reading celebrity magazines to find out the latest
scandals. Why are we so freaking nosy? It's none of our business. I
don't know, maybe it's our way to distract ourselves from our dull
lives. We stick our noses into situations that's not even the slightest
bit related to us. You know what guys? There used to even be blog sites
that I used to visit. Not frequently, only occasionally if I am really
bored (I'm not talking about the forum site by the way, I don't visit
that place for sure). I'm not even fond of these websites. They are
childish, judgemental and simply put- unhealthy for us. They discuss the
lives of other people and make horrible assumptions. I couldn't stand
what I was reading but yet, SOMEHOW I would find myself on that site a
month or two later. There are things that I learnt about gossipy
magazines/websites/gossipy friends:
- When you talk bad about a person, you actually spread the negativity. So a person can originally like a person but after being told something about that person, he/she could suddenly change their mind about them.
- It's an unhealthy habit. It even starts to change how you view yourself. When you do it enough, you can even become resentful.
- It's not as innocent as you think
Now, if somebody upsets or angers me. I try very hard not to share it to others. Believe me, it's tough but I know it's for the better. I know if I do talk about it, I will just end up making this person sound like an absolutely ass for the sake of my comfort. I would just be looking for the listener to agree with me. I don't want to give in to my pride if this is the case. In most cases, I end up being more frustrated anyway so why do I bother? After all, you may love gossiping but you wouldn't like it if you were being gossiped about right? If you're just going to talk bad for the sake of talking, then maybe it's better to keep quiet instead.
I will just focus on myself, my friends and my loved ones. I don't want to be nosy and I don't want to be the reason for sharing negativity. I don't even want to read/listen to negativity either. There are so many more things in life that matters and entertains me.
So now I look back at some of my friends who are still resentful and bitter and I just pray they will get it one day. I had a friend who is actually a lovely girl but she has so much resentment for an ex-friend of hers. She would stalk her photos on Facebook and send me the 'bad pictures' just to tease her makeup or how she does her hair. She feels better pointing out other people's flaws but she has no idea how the resentment is eating her heart up by the minute. With so much resentment in her heart, there isn't room for joy. I eventually drifted from her because we ran out of topics to talk about. I no longer wanted to hear the gossiping and I payed no attention to the negativity. I confronted her and told her in the kindest way that she needs to change her view in things or she will just continue to hurt herself. She told me to calm down and it was just harmless. I know it's not harmless. She was trying to spread the negativity. She didn't get it.
To people who are being gossiped about
Hey, you're not alone. You can't control what others say but you can control how you choose to deal with it. Sometimes, people can't help the way they are and you have to accept that you might not be able to change how they think. You might as well just go ahead and do the right thing yourself rather than waiting because they may never actually do the right thing . You can just stay true to yourself and focus on your family, friends and loved ones. These are the people's opinions who should matter. Remember "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind"- Dr Seuss. Don't let yourself be defeated on other people's opinion and certainly don't suffocate yourself trying to live on people's expectations. If people can't be happy for you- you go ahead and be happy for youself ^_^.
So the jist of this post is, "If you don't have anything good to say, don't say it at all". Before you enter yourself into a world of gossip, ask yourself is what you're about to hear/read good for your soul and heart? How does it make you feel knowing what you are reading/listening can hurt hurt to others?
Focus on yourself and try to not be so distracted with other people's business. The minute you stop gossiping and being distracted from the world of gossip- you will seriously feel your more happiness in your life. Not only will you do the World a favour, you will also do it for yourself. Keep smiling guys! ^^
X o X o,
-Octaviani Puteri-
